Remember 5 years ago when Apple released Siri and everybody thought it was amazing?
For 2 minutes.
Which was the time it took to realise that Siri:
a/ Didn’t understand what the hell you were saying half the time.
b/ Was embarrassing to use in public. “Siri, is my mole cancerous?” Continue reading Alexa, Write Me A Humourous Blog Post
Like everybody else in the world, I’ve spent the last few weeks obsessively watching the Olympics on TV. No doubt like many other people, I’ve also been thinking, “Bloody hell, has it been four years already?” As with any regular event, it serves as a reminder of time passing by. Continue reading An Olympic Rant
Travel, eventually, turns everybody into an insufferable prick. Maybe at home you are the most level-headed person in the world without the tiniest shred of pretension. But spend a long enough time away and it will happen. You will turn into one of those people. You know the type I’m talking about. The people who “find themselves.”
Continue reading Is Finding Yourself Through Travel for Idiots?
The Banks Peninsula is a small, hilly circle of land that juts out into the sea close to Christchurch. Due to the large amount of beautiful bays and little villages, the peninsula seems to be the perfect weekend getaway for Christchurchers. For the same reason, we thought it would be a great place to base ourselves in our last week in New Zealand.
It’s close to the city, I told myself while typing out an email to a HelpX host. We’ll be able to pop into Christchurch in the day or do some sightseeing on the peninsula. That’s what I thought.
Until we found ourselves sitting in The Bloody Legend looking up on a steep road heading right into the hills. Nothing on the website said anything about this.
Continue reading A Horrific Help Exchange on the Banks Peninsula
You’re about to go travelling for the first time, but there’s a problem. You don’t know how to take a photograph! You got a book from the library, but upon inspection it had more words than pictures. Who can be bothered to read nowadays? If it’s not an easily digestible YouTube clip, then it’s useless.
Fortunately for you, I exist and I’ve decided to help you out in your conquest to take the most clichéd travel photo possible. So beautiful that you can literally put them on Facebook every 2 hours for all those people who don’t give a shit.
Continue reading 5 Tips For Taking Clichéd Travel Photos
It seems to be a general rule on New Zealand’s South Island, that the further South you get, the more tourists there are. Or rather, the closer you get to a location from the Lord of the Rings, the greater the amount of people you’ll see. Either way, as you travel south the amount of tourists continues to grow.
We got our first real taste of the negative energy of other tourists when we found ourselves in Lake Tekapo early one afternoon. With its turquoise blue water, hemmed in by mountains on almost all sides, Lake Tekapo is an obvious lure for tourists. Add to that the fact that it’s slap bang in the middle of a dark sky reserve – perfect for star watching – and it’s almost too much to resist.
Continue reading Getting Annoyed by Tourists at Lake Tekapo
Dear Gay Guy Who Lives Upstairs,
It’s with much regret that I must inform you that you are not an owl. I’m sure this will come as some surprise to you. After all, you seem to spend the majority of your time hooting loudly. Still, from what I have seen, you don’t possess wings or feathers, so I assume you could try to spend a little less time shrieking.
It saddens me that the only way I can describe you is as “gay.” I don’t wish to make this about your sexuality. In fact, I don’t even really know if you’re gay. I’m just guessing. Maybe it’s the fact I’ve listened to you singing Disney songs at the top of your feminine lungs every day for the last 6 months. Or possibly because I can hear your high-heels stomping across my ceiling.
Continue reading A Short Letter to My Noisy Neighbours