Category Archives: Me

Living with 5 Cats, 2 Dogs, 1 Bird, 8 Fish and 4 Humans


IMG_20160724_084955980

Since I moved to America a few months ago, I’ve been unable to work. It takes months for a work visa to be processed and in that time I can’t leave the country, or do much of anything really. To save on costs, my wife and I have been living with her parents and brother.

It doesn’t matter as much as you’d think. Most houses in America are huge in comparison to the UK. Living with other people isn’t a problem. If you need some time alone you can sulk off to your own wing of the house and pretend that nobody is there with you.

IMG_20160816_222752
Ninja cat lies in wait to scare the crap out of me.

When it becomes a problem, is when you also have enough animals in the house to open a petting zoo. My wife’s family seems to collect animals like most people collect useless kitchen appliances. Instead of an ice cream maker they’ll only use twice, they get a new cat. Instead of a popcorn machine, a dog. When you have as many cats as they do, it probably seems like something you buy regularly. “Hey, don’t forget to stop by the store on the way home and get a new cat!” “Cat food. You mean cat food, right?” “No no, I mean a cat.” Continue reading Living with 5 Cats, 2 Dogs, 1 Bird, 8 Fish and 4 Humans

Advertisements

Adjusting to Life in America

Before leaving for a new life in America, I believed that moving here would be easy. Over the last two months I’ve found the adjustment to be anything but.

Numerous people back home told me how envious they were about my moving to America. To them, the idea of living in the USA reminds them of past holidays. Great food, good weather, good beer, cheap shopping. No worries. Continue reading Adjusting to Life in America

Children, Marriage and Saying “I Love You”

I can’t remember when it happened, but at some point in the past I settled on a few beliefs and values and they’ve stuck ever since. I think most people are like this, we hold an opinion about something and we never want to waver from it. The longer we hold that opinion, the less it becomes an opinion and the more it becomes a part of us. That belief makes us us. We can never waver from that opinion, otherwise it’ll put our entire identity into disrepute. Continue reading Children, Marriage and Saying “I Love You”

First World Guilt

I’m eating dinner when the thought occurs to me that somewhere in the world another person is dying of hunger. Soon I’m overcome with guilt.

Most often I try to push these thoughts from my mind. Those people dying of hunger are so far away that we’re disconnected. The fact I’m eating dinner has nothing to do with the fact they don’t have any. It’s not my fault and there’s nothing I can do.

As soon as the thought has arrived, my brain gets distracted and it’s all forgotten about. Continue reading First World Guilt

The Meaninglessness of Cereal Cafes

From time to time, I’m confronted with the absurdity of life – the complete ridiculousness of everything.

There was a time long ago when these realisations would make me laugh. I’d be sitting at work one day, thinking about shoes. Like, how crazy are shoes when you truly think about them? Ok, they protect our feet, so they’re somewhat useful, but isn’t it amazing just how seriously people take shoes. How much we judge others based on their shoes. How much thought we put into selecting them, designing them, making them. All this time and energy spent on shoes when they’re just….SHOES! Continue reading The Meaninglessness of Cereal Cafes

I Can’t Get No (Job) Satisfaction

8240399778_48a651e76b_z

One day, many years ago, I came up with an ingenious thought experiment which is the true test of how much I’m enjoying a job.

It’s simple. I pose myself this question:

If I somehow had a magical button that would allow me to black out every day at the start of work, waking me up hours later once I’m finished, would I use it? Continue reading I Can’t Get No (Job) Satisfaction