The Dating Game.
By Jamie
Jamie (Mobile)
Sent: April 22, 2011 3:31:34 PM
Are we still on for dinner plans tonight?
Received: April 22, 2011 5:11:28 PM
Oh, that’s right. That was for tonight.
I forgot I have to stay late at work.
The Voice inside Jamie’s head: What the hell?! First off, it took him… (uses fingers to count out the math)…an hour and forty minutes to even respond back to my text! Secondly, he forgot!? So, you know what? I won’t even respond back. Or if I do, it will be three hours from now.
–
If Life were an exam, the above scenario* would be question number 34. The above example should feel quite familiar to most (at least I can speak on behalf of women). And if not, I guess I’m alone here and hopefully, you the reader, will continue following along anyway.
[*This scenario did not actually happen to the writer.]
After reading the said scenario on the exam, this question would follow:
What do you do next?
- Tell him that you’re disappointed in him forgetting, but arrange for another night. He suggests breakfast instead, you oblige, and live happily ever after.
- Call him, immediately, demanding to know why it took him so long to respond. Also make it known that you’re starving, and it’s all his fault.
- You refuse to text him back until three hours later, feigning disinterest about the fact he completely forgot about dinner plans.
- Other (Please write comments in the appropriate space below.)
However, this isn’t a question on the Life exam. We don’t have the time to clearly think about what we should choose. We don’t have the opportunity to study for it. It just….happens. We more than likely choose to do the first thing that comes to mind, regardless of how silly, crazy, and ridiculous it sounds at the time. (More than likely it sounds brilliant to you, anyway.)
Thus, irrational, crazy side ensues.
Thus, playing games occur.
And no, I am not talking about those games. I am not talking about a game of Scrabble, an episode of Jeopardy! or a game of Hide-and-Go-Seek. As those are quite fun. I am, however, talking about the games we play while in relationships.
The said scenario in which I keep referring to is an example of playing mind games in a relationship. The Voice Inside Jamie’s Head was contemplating what should she say to him, what should she do, or should she even do and/or say anything at all?! But why? Is it because playing games are inevitable? If so, when are they initiated?
After much thorough thinking, I have come to believe there are different games played while at different stages in relationships. I have provided some examples below. (Age, sex, and IQ can also be factors when it comes to choosing what game to play.)
- A five-year-old boy teases a five-year-old girl. He pushes her on the ground to proclaim that he thinks she is cute. She is crying and never wants to speak to the boy again. [Note: The games are physical.]
- There are two people, right now, unaware of how the other person feels about them. These two people are probably playing hard-to-get because one must never come off as needy, desperate, and readily available. EVER! [Note: The games are now mental.]
- The aforementioned two people are now in a relationship. It has been three years already! However, they fight, a lot. They also threaten to break up with each other, and if they do, they come crawling right back to one another. They continue trying to make the other person jealous by going out, taking pictures with “good-looking” strangers and posting it on their facebook. They both are miserable.
- There could also be another two people, right now, where one person is aware of the other being completely smitten with them. This person finds it flattering, and takes advantage of the smitten one. I don’t know the name of the game, but the person playing it is an asshole. They take comfort in knowing someone, right now, finds them fascinating even though they have no intention of getting with this person. (Namely because they already have a significant other.) But it’s a a nice stroke to their ego, and so it continues.
For the past few months, I have begun to like someone. Fortunately for me, the feelings are mutual, which basically means I don’t have to play hard-to-get. Yes! However, there could still be other games that will be played along the way. (You know, like naked Scrabble.)
But the thing is, I don’t feel like I need to. (Yes, there have been times when I felt I needed to. Don’t you remember the miserable couple from above? They believed getting one another jealous would prove to themselves that their significant other cared about them.) I feel quite all right with calling him or messaging him anytime I please without asking myself, “Am I being too…much?” (It also helps that he responds within a reasonable time frame.) But it could simply be because it hasn’t been long enough. We are still at the point where everything the other person says is fucking fascinating.
I’ve already discussed when the best time in a relationship is: the beginning. Right now, we are both on the equal-playing field. The trust is still intact. It has not been lost, forgotten, abused, or abandoned. Namely because I have put it in a safe spot, under my bed, wrapped in plastic, bound by a chain.
–
Jamie (Mobile)
Sent: April 22, 2011 5:23:14 PM
I can’t believe you forgot! When can
can we reschedule then?
The Guy I Like (Mobile)
Sent: April 22, 2011 5:25:09 PM
How about breakfast instead?
Jamie (Mobile)
Sent: April 22, 2011 5:26:27 PM
Doughnuts? 
If that scenario would ever happen,I would feel deeply furious and humiliated.I won’t answer back,and in case he calls,I will let him wait for a couple of hours before I pick up.I would ask him what made him that busy,if he provides a rational answer and doesn’t come up with fake excuses ,I will forgive and start all over. If he lies or says its no big deal,he’s in BIG trouble
It sounds like you would want to give him a taste of his own medicine. Which, at first thought, I would want to do. See how HE likes waiting! But why? Wouldn’t that just be stooping down to his level? Are we constantly just trying to outdo one another–you know, see who is the better game player?
But once I thought about it, clearly and rationally, I would settle the issue with him in a (hopefully) responsible, adult manner, followed by great make-up sex.
Only in America can doughnuts be considered breakfast…
I’m terribly disappointed in this comment. I have nothing better to say than “Americans are fat and I hate them all.”
You know what, Jamie. You just lost all credibility. To blatantly mark an entire country as whatever is unconscionable.
Dan, to allow this bullshit on your blog leads me to believe you’re penchant for self dosing through the written word falls short of it’s goal. Which I mistakenly thought was to entertain and engage.
You might want to read up on your own country before talking crap about another:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/5282446.stm
Not saying America IS NOT obese. But don’t talk smack like your own country isn’t headed toward the same shape (literally).
Jeff, I’m confused. I AM American. I have the right to talk shit, if I was, about my own country. Also, here is a link to my personal blog. Sorry for any misunderstandings.
Dan, when else does one eat doughnuts? It’s morning for us. Oh right, you’re 8 hours off of us. Puts you more towards the dinner hour. Cheers!